Painfully Independent

Today I did something I do kind of frequently. Actually I do it all of the time. Most of the time. But for some reason today I’m questioning it more than I usually would…

I went for a coffee by myself. Not grabbing a take away but actually sitting down in a coffee shop and having a coffee by myself. Along with a delicious raspberry muffin because I have rituals and today is muffin day. But muffin day aside (though an important thing indeed) I sat down with the newest issue of Frankie fresh from the local newsagent down the road and proceeded to appreciate my own company and enjoy my treats.

As I said, this is far from the first time and it most certainly will not be the last time that I do such things. But I find I am constantly just going off and doing these things that more often one might like and enjoy sharing some company and participation from a second being, but I just go it alone. For example once again tonight I will be off to another event that once again, company to share would be grand, but I shall be on my own.

I guess I’m bringing this up because previously this wouldn’t bother me as much as it could and it probably won’t for the most part into the future, but sometimes I think I’ve become painfully independent. To the point where because I’m happy enough to go it alone I don’t half make an effort to attempt to find company to do some things, perhaps it’s a subconscious mechanism of avoiding spoiling the activity with disappointment of company that fails. Or maybe it’s the ease you acquire on outings without having to compromise on what you want to do to please the other person that has lead me to this habit being so constant. Or maybe I just have no friends!

I do like that I can be independent. I definitely think it’s an important characteristic to be able to do things by yourself and not need to follow or have people follow you to justify and affirm what you’re doing. But I would like to decrease the frequency of my alone time and increase the occurrence of spending time with some quality company…. or maybe I will have to start being a cat lady after all! And nobody wants that. Not me. Not the cats. Nobody!

Cue the Celine Dion classic… All by myself…

Happy Friday Folks! Hope you’re spending it with some quality company even if that is in the office!


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